I’m late, I’m late, for a very important date!
I WAS ALMOST LATE THIS MORNING!
Just kidding.
Got in right on time with the meeting.
It was entertaining.
But long.
That’s not why I’m late with posting this though.
It’s not because I had a lot of busy work either.
It’s cause I’m retyping and fine tuning my resume.
It looks fancy as anything.
HOLY CRAP FORGOT MY TEMP WORK
So I attempted to add it but I don’t know how I should list my duties sort of thing.
It’s hard.
Resumes are hard.
I don’t like them.
I really wish I could just walk into a place and be like what up?
That would def get me hired in an instant.
I would love it.
Really I would.
Sort of.
I wish I was just rich though, then I wouldn’t have to work unless I wanted to and then I could become Batman or something.
Better, I can buy myself a Batcave.
Dudes get ManCaves…I want a Batcave.
I see them all the time on shows…I want one.
I also had to get away from the resume.
Just looking at it is starting to make my brain explode. I was working on it for the past hour or so and it’s just so infuriating.
All I want to do is read, but my eyes hurt so much from the screen that I can’t read.
Plus I think I wanna read a book that I don’t own.
I do that a lot.
I buy books in bulk.
I have a lot at home, but I want more to read now.
I’ve been watching a bit of Sons of Anarchy so I feel a need to read some novels about motorcycle things.
It’s an interesting thing but I don’t know where I would look for novels like that.
I usually stick to the YA section, or Young Adult for you non-YA types.
Yeah, I don’t really care what it’s called cause some of those books are really good.
I wrote a paper on the Hunger Games in one of my classes even. That’s how much I love it. Of course it was a class where you had to compare the book to the movie and I chose Hunger Games cause it was my favorite and I know the book and movie like the back of my hand. So I wrote the paper and it was 20 pages and I even got to mention Seneca Crane’s perfect facial hair and the beard with its own Facebook page. The prof liked it so much she even wrote on it “I really wanted to use this as the example but I felt it would be a bit intimidating for the other students.”
I write a lot.
Whoops.
I read a lot.
Not whoops.
It balances out.
Sorta.
Enough.
It’s cool though.
Just like Young Adult novels.
I’ll probably be reading young adult novels when I’m an 80 year old woman. That is if my eyes are still working for me.
I hope they’re still working for me by then.
If not I’ll be highly upset.
Which is why I really need to go to the eye doctor’s.
I’m pretty sure I need glasses.
I blame computers.
I spend way too much time looking at a computer screen.
Or my phone screen.
It’s bad for me.
I turn the brightness down a bit low so that it doesn’t hurt as much but I really need to spend less time looking at the screens.
It hurts.
Of course my job field is spent in front of screens 90% of the time.
Not cool bro.
But it is what it is.
I would remember I use to type so many papers and spend so much time looking at a computer screen that I would have to get cold compresses and lay them on my eyes for a minute or two before I could go back to work.
Other times I would wear sunglasses.
I’ve worn sunglasses alone in my room at 3 in the morning because the computer light was hurting my eyes too much.
It’s like a mini sun on your lap.
Or desk.
The main purpose is the fact that it’s a mini sun.
I don’t like it.
I don’t like the sun.
He’s not out today though.
Which is good and bad cause no sun, no burns.
But it’s also bad cause no sun, no warmth.
And I don’t like long sleeved fancy clothes so I’m a bit out of luck right now.
So is Cool Dude.
He’s claiming he needs a quick dinner tonight.
Poor thing.
He says he’ll grab pizza but he doesn’t really want pizza.
I can totally agree with you on that front.
I hate pizza.
I hate it soooo much.
It’s the sauce. I’m not a sauce fan.
And there goes the hottie hot prof.
Doing his little finger wave into my office.
Gosh he could do that all day and I would smile like a fool every time.
Perfection.
Simply, perfection.
…
Anyway.
Not perfection? Tomatoes.
Tomatoes are the devil’s fruit.
What fruit tastes like a vegetable?
Tomatoes.
That’s why it’s the devil’s fruit.
It’s red too, so it’s very fitting.
All signs are pointing against tomatoes.
Sorry dudes, you had your time.
Speaking of time, it’s almost time for lunch!
Part of me wants to leave early for my lunch I mean it’s only 5 minutes.
But Trail Mix caught me going to my club earlier while I was on working time.
In all fairness I went for a really good reason.
I couldn’t remember when I worked for the club and I needed that down on my resume.
And speak of the devil and he shall appear.
Not the real devil.
Trail Mix.
He walked into my office to throw something out.
Goodness help me if he ever reads any of this.
I’m out of luck.
Or he’ll find Trail Mix to be a truly intriguing character and find himself relating to this woodsman who enjoys trail mix. He could also hate Trail Mix.
Then there will be a meta thing where it’s all the basis for the self-loathing he has.
Cool Dude would appreciate this.
He’s cool.
He’s talking to someone about not buying coffee.
Saying not to spend money.
Awww, he said save the three dollars and don’t buy for me. Spend it on yourself.
It’s sweet.
Nice guy that Cool Dude.
He just used the word, “baby.”
Lost cool points Cool Dude.
I hate when people call their significant other baby.
Something about that is just odd to me.
Babe is somewhat okay, but baby just makes me want to punch a desk.
Back from lunch and I have not punched a desk yet.
I have contemplated it a lot though…
I thought about it so much.
My resume stinks.
No.
It’s my cover letter that has major issues.
You’re supposed to explain why you want the job.
“I need money?”
That’s not a good enough reason for a cover letter, so I need to make up a bunch of stuff and use fancy smart words and make it sound genuine.
Not to mention I have to brag about myself while still sounding humble.
That’s really hard.
Plus I don’t know what I can put in there.
The things I want to say can’t go in there:
♠ I can bike in heels.
♠ I can name all the actors who have played the Doctor on Doctor Who.
♠ I break out into impromptu songs at any given moment.
♠ I have beaten 2048 multiple times.
♠ I remember minor details about incidents that happened years ago that none of my friends have.
♠ I quote tv and movie on the regular.
♠ I met two Power Rangers.
♠ I am a walking encyclopedia for Supernatural.
♠ I once wrote a 20 page paper on the Hunger Games…when the max was 3.
Not very strong resume points, but great points for life. I think those would get me at least 500 points to the Hogwarts house of my choosing.
The House Cup goes to Slytherin!
Whoo!
LOL JK!
Harry Potter isn’t in your house so we’re gonna award his house a million points cause he rocks.
Imagine if Harry was in Slytherin though.
Like, I’m pretty sure Slytherin would have won the House Cup that year. Him and Draco would be more chill with one another cause he didn’t take away the glory. They’d be teammates on the QuidditchTeam cause Draco could then go for a different position, cause let’s be real, he only became a Seeker cause he wanted to beat Harry at his own game. Now there’s no contest. Hogwarts would have been more chill.
That would have been very nice.
Of course it could have absolutely gone to hell cause Harry isn’t Gryffindor so he doesn’t actually do any of the things he did to save the day. Voldy-kins decides to come back early, Quirrell is still the professor and Slytherin gets a pizza party.
So Harry still wins.
Harry Potter, winner no matter what side he’s on.
Jealous.
So jealous.
And oh snap the printer!
…wait…nothing’s printing…it’s just making noise.
Huh…weird.
Good thing it decided to do that then.
I was about to break out the coloring book….
I’m defiantly taking out the coloring book.
Sorry my rambles are short today.
The resume is getting to me.
Coloring will help.
Coloring always helps.
Therapeutic even.
My hallway is empty too so it’s not like anyone will see me and call me out on it.
…and then I just jinxed myself.
Oh well.
We’ll see what happens.
For now,
Toodles~
The Ramblings of a Mad Girl 